The allure and excitement of a one night stand can sometimes be enough for you to forget that you are in a committed relationship at all and jump right in. But, is it worth risking your relationship for a one night stand?
If you find yourself in the position of possibly participating in a one night stand, or have even considered it in the past, there are some things you need to think about now. While the act itself might feel flippant and non-committal, it, and any sexual encounter, can have a lasting impact on your life.
Before you decide to get out there and find yourself in the position of engaging in a one night stand, sit down and take stock of your current relationship and ask yourself some tough questions.
There are a slew of things to consider when a relationship is not in the mix too, and these considerations should also play a factor in deciding whether or not you participate in a one night stand.
According to one source, there are many relationships out there where there is a mutual understanding between partners when it comes to having sex with others and engaging in one night stands. This decision is entirely personal and between the individuals in the relationship, and therefor never wrong.
These are a few things that you need to consider.
How Strong is Your Current Relationship?
One of the main things to ask yourself if you are concerned about risking your relationship is how strong it is. Respect, honesty, and dignity, of both you and your partner all factor into the decision. The strength of your relationship can make things go both ways if you do have sex with someone else and your partner gets upset.
A strong relationship can possibly withstand an affair when there is no understanding between partners before hand and your partner finds out. At the same time, a strong relationship built on trust can crumble if your partner finds out and feels they can no longer put their trust in you. You need to weigh the options of both of these potential outcomes and decide for yourself what to do.
Do You and Your Partner Have an Understanding?
If you and your partner have an understanding about engaging in sex with others outside of your relationship, then you only need to consider how you feel about it. A mutual understanding reduces a lot of the risk to your relationship if you decide to have sex as part of a one night stand.
If you do not already have an agreement, but wish for one, speak to your partner before doing anything else.
Do You See Your Current Relationship as a Long Term One?
If your relationship is not already established as a long term one, ask yourself if you want it to be, or if you want it to remain that way. If your relationship is casual or new, and you are still not entirely sure that it is meant for you, this may factor into why or whether or not you should risk your relationship.
Why Do You Want to Have a One Night Stand?
Before deciding to have a one night stand, ask yourself why you want to have one when you are already in a relationship. There are many reasons for wanting to, but each reason can also have another outcome. If there is something missing from your relationship that you are trying to capture through this action, it might be worth talking out with your partner before you go searching for it with someone else.
Will This Compromise Your Relationship?
For most, knowing that their partner has engaged in a one night stand while they were together is hard to understand and accept. Ask yourself if this event would compromise your relationship or change it in any way. Even if you are able to remain in the relationship, there are times where the event can change your relationship in a way that either party is not able to accept.
If you are concerned about this having a negative effect on your relationship, you might want to reconsider.
Do You Plan to Tell Your Partner?
Consider whether you plan on telling your partner before or after you’ve decided that you are interested in having a one night stand. If this is not something you have agreed on before, or even ever addressed, it might come as a shock to your partner.
Be ready to share your reasons for why you want to have a one night stand, if you are telling your partner prior to this happening. Additionally, if you don’t tell your partner until after you have already done so, be prepared for a wide range of emotions and to be completely honest and open about your actions if you want to maintain your relationship.
Can This End Your Relationship?
If there was no understanding between your partner and yourself regarding sex with other people and your partner finds out, you need to ask yourself if it could end things. Dishonesty and unfaithfulness are almost always relationship ending actions.
If you want to remain in the relationship, this would be a strong case for not participating in a one night stand at all.
Are You Prepared to Deal With All Potential Consequences?
Any time you engage in sex there is the potential for pregnancy or the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease. These are just some of the consequences, and the most obvious, but they are huge and can have an impact and consequences to your life.
Practicing safe sex is always important, but it is even more important when you are in a relationship and are trying to spare your partner any additional pain. Infecting your committed partner after having unsafe sex with another partner is not only dangerous, but disrespectful.
If you do decide to engage in sex outside your relationship, protect both yourself and your partner at all costs. If any accidents do happen, get tested prior to engaging in sex with your partner.