If you are dating an adult, then you are coming to the dating scene with experience from your previous relationships and past love lives. Most times, that experience can work in your favor, as you will know what you want and you will also be good at identifying when things are not working out well. Sometimes, however, the experience you already have can work against you. Below are 3 mistakes people dating old people (over 40) easily make, and how to avoid them:
1. Drinking Too Much
I know we all get a little bit nervous on the first date, no matter how old we are. It might sound quite unbelievable, but people in their 40s still drink excessively while on the first date. Maybe this is due to nervousness or tension, and the fact that perhaps, you are just tired of dating. First of all, we all need to keep safety and DUIs in mind. Secondly, you are old enough to understand the dangers associated with drinking too much. You may end up saying something or doing something you will end up regretting in the morning. For this reason, it is advisable you stay smart and pace yourself. Save the drinks for some other time.
2. Too Indifferent or Too Eager
I think one of these two things happen to us mentally, whenever we date while we are in our 40s. We either feel desperate or develop an “I’m fine on my own!” mindset. The desperate people who are dating over 40 and wish to get married soon, may want to do anything to please their mates, thus scaring off their potential partners. Then they are others who think “If it wants to happen, then let it happen” and won’t really put in any serious effort into making the relationship work. This will make their dates feel insecure or believe these people do not honestly care about them, and this can also be a sign indicating that you are not ready to settle down yet. Egos have a big part to play here, and in case there’s too much of it, the date may not work out.
Just try and be a “middleman”. Don’t be too excited or eager, and also desist from acting uninterested or not caring if the date will work out well or not.
3. Getting Intimate Too Soon
I hear from older women and men saying, “I am an adult and I totally know what I am doing!” Yes, you do. I understand the fact that you are tired of being single, and that you need a night of passionate, ardent, and loving sex. I am not questioning the fact that you are an adult. However, I am questioning whether you need to jump into the sack immediately.
Sex is a huge level of intimacy. It is a big step for two individuals who have just met to take. Real intimacy needs comfort and trust in each other, and it is really difficult to get these things after a three-hour dinner, or a couple of drinks at the bar. Try knowing each other a little more. Having sex too soon can interfere with getting to know your date. It has a way of making people forget everything else, and this includes personal feelings.
Overthinking the dating process often happens as we grow older, due to the fact that, we have a wider reference frame than a 25-year-old. In case we remember to be ourselves and relax while adhering to the advice above, I am certain dating over 40 will not be too confusing anymore.